What is Emotional Evolution

Emotional Evolution is a term coined by yours truly, in an attempt to define my journey in this world. As someone with depression, who is also an empath, I am ruled by emotions. Oh my, how draining it is! Over the years I have studied not only myself and what makes me tick, but Emotional Intelligence as well. If you aren't familiar with Daniel Goleman's work - I highly recommend you start. He is the father of EQ (shorthand for Emotional Intelligence).
You can find his work here: http://www.danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/

But enough about Daniel (no offense buddy), but this post is all about me!  A while back I had the pleasure of going to a new PCP (we all know how much fun THAT is! Get weighed, check blood pressure, yada, yada, yada). During that visit he asked "If you had to pick one word that describes your life, what would it be?" Well, I could have said "sucky, depressing, complicated, dramatic, overwhelming, happy, exciting etc., or give some kind of half-ass adjective, just to get out of this conversation and get my visit over with, but instead I paused (for dramatic effect) and said "evolving". He looked at me, eyes wide open, with a ridiculous amount of excitement. You know, like the kind that I get when a amazingly hot guy with a great ass gets in front of me on the cardio machine (don't judge me)!  After containing himself over my brilliant one word answer he exclaimed "that is the best answer I have ever heard!" Well duh!

So this got me thinking. If I had to describe my emotional journey, how would I describe it? Well of course the answer would depend on the day and if I was having a mental break down at the point or not, but I would say evolving. We are not in control of what happens to us, but we are in control of how we react. Let that sink in. Don't roll your eyes at me, and stop huffing! Seriously, let that sink in. How do you react in situations that make you uncomfortable? For example, you're driving along and find the perfect rock-star parking, only to have some jackass pull in from out of nowhere, and take it! To make matters worse, it's during the Christmas rush, the only spot left is up in East Bumble F*ck, AND IT'S RAINING! Yeah, THAT kind reaction is what I'm talking about. We have all been there. We have all gone out of way to let said jackass know that he is well - a jackass! But honestly, where does that get us? We get all mightier than though cause that was OUR space, going off on him/her in the middle of the mall and looking like, well, you guessed it, A JACKASS! Learning Emotional Intelligence, i.e. - how to control our emotions, is key to being s semi-sane person in this ridiculously insane world!

This does not happen overnight. It's not one of those tummy wraps that you throw on and poof, insta-abs the next morning! Not so much! Oh and by the way if that DOES happen with the wrap, get your camera and Instagram that bitch cause you're going to get like THOUSANDS of likes! No, becoming aware of emotions before that moment of explosion, or breakdown takes time. We essentially need to re-wire our brain into new ways of thinking. The brain is an amazing organ, however, it can't be rational and emotional at the same time. Brain scans have actually found that these two modes are mutually exclusive. Awesome right? So now you see where I am going with this. We need to learn to control our emotions in order to become not only mentally, but physically healthier. This takes time, hence, enter the evolution part. Our job on this journey is to cultivate new habits that allow us to re-wire our brains.

One way to do this is through affirmations. I love these things, they are like icing on the cake of life. Cake is good, cake with icing, the BOMB! When I feel myself losing my shit I take a few deeps breaths (allowing my mind to stay rational), and say internally "I am in control of my emotions". Every affirmation should be in the present tense, allowing the universe to manifest what it is we are affirming. The universe will respond to the belief that you already HAVE these things, not WANT them. We will cover all that in a subsequent blog - don't worry (hey, I have to keep you coming back right)? Also, emotionally stable are more fun to be around! Really, who wants to be around someone who always complains, is snappy, unstable, negative etc.? Not this chick! I'm going to go party with the happy girl who'd rather go hug a stranger than snap at him/her cause they bumped into her.

So, how do you see yourself? Do you have EQ? Or you the type of person that feels OK being the jackass in the mall?

No judgements here (legit - this really IS a judgement free zone)!



Thank you for reading. Love and Light!

Jenn